Bree
I know I have talked about this before, but it needs to be talked about again. The other night she called. I answered the phone to a "Hello! What's up?" This is were I snapped. I started yelling about how she was a hypocrite and I was over it. She apologized and wanted me to chill. I'm really torn talking to her. She was the one who wanted to stop and now she calls me when she is alone and her boyfriend is working. It's just weird to me. Maybe if she didn't yell at me and told me to never call or txt her it wouldn't be such a big deal, but right now it is.

Taylor
This little red haired girl is special to me. I love talking to her and when she opens up a convo with me by saying "hey cutie" I melt. Maybe it's because I crave the attention of girls right now... Even though she is young and not really the type I would date, she is a cool chick. She sent me a message on facebook that read "Its hard because I do like you, but your in the cities.. and the age difference.. and because of Tanner.. I wish things were different." What do you do when you see this? I understand the whole rebound bit and I don't want to have a little feelings for her, but I do and we have never met. She tells me she applied to Rasmussen College here in Eagan. Maybe that is when we could have a chance. Maybe we will grow to hate each other? Maybe Maybe Maybe.

April
I feel like deleting her everyday from bookface. She puts up pictures and and they are so beautiful. The one girl I will never stop caring for and I have to look at her as she grows more beautiful everyday. I'm not sure If I wrote about this in previous entry, but i finally decided to delete all her photos and videos on my phone that I have taken or she has sent me. It was one of the hardest things to do. I looked at these photos everyday and felt unwanted. So, i started deleting one photo or movie one everyday. After 3 days of no photos I felt better knowing I couldn't see her on my phone at lest. Then one day she sent me some photos and she was more beautiful then I remembered. Those photos remain on my phone till the day I can muster up the courage to do it all again.

Love not transmittable
I was thinking this the other day and it's crazy. The human brain/heart doesn't feel others love. They may know it, but don't feel it. I always wonder what it would be like to know someone who is truly in love with me and not care or be bothered by it.
The fact you can't push love is devastating. The idea of finding someone who could feel the way you do is so low that I wonder if it's worth trying. It's kind of like religion in the idea that you shouldn't push it onto people, except in this case if you do push it then the other will be pushed away. No one finds love by another telling them they care. It's something you feel and hope they do. For this reason I can't stand it.